I was talking with a friend recently who was sharing his frustrations with trying to start his own business. After reading book after book about how to be successful, measuring success, and how to become a millionaire, he came to the conclusion that they were all wrong. I won’t share the names of the books that turned him off to being successful, but I will describe the characteristics of these books and why thousands of people that read the same book don’t all become millionaires.
Beaten Down and Degraded
You may aware of the tactics that many armed forces like the Army use, in which they “break” a person emotionally and mentally so that they can “rebuild” them to be conditioned as soldiers. The reason they do this is because it’s basic psychology and it works. Ever hear of victims becoming attached to their harassers or women staying with abusive husbands? When you’re broke mentally you begin to rely on others to mend you. This applies to the financial world as well. Many “millionaires” and authors want to make more money with their books, and they’ve got a tried and true approach to doing it. Submission. Most of the people reading financial books are insecure about their finances already, thus being in a submissive state from the beginning, they are easily controlled and manipulated by the author. If the author’s goal is to get them to buy more products, then they simply communicate that to the reader. This is why SO MANY people are still poor no matter how much they read; it’s all a mind game.
Knowing this, it’s important to recognize the good eggs from the bad before reading anything. Unless you’re confident in your financial state, you shouldn’t pick up a book on finances without doing some research. Be wary of author’s claims of religion, overnight success, or training programs to attributing to you success. Not that these methods don’t work, but they’re often used to mislead the reader or win their trust (sadly, I know far too many church goers that have been taken advantage of for putting their faith in people that play the God card).
Who do I trust?
Nobody. You should never trust anyone 100% because very few people are completely out to help you for nothing in return; and the few that are can become corrupt at any point. The real key is to trust yourself. If you can have enough faith and trust that regardless of what you read, learn, or do — that you will be happy and successful — THEN you are ready to learn. Many authors (even the corrupt ones) have something valuable to share. As long as you have the discernment to know what to apply and what to scrap, then you’ll be able to build your own blueprint to success.
How do I build my confidence?
It’s easy to say, but hard to do, right? Well not exactly. Building confidence is a slow growing process, and it takes a lot of time and positives to outweigh the negatives which have torn it down. You can’t gain genuine confidence overnight, and as much as it may seem possible, you can’t ignore or fake confidence. It lies in the subconscious mind and can only be built with genuine experiences. Here’s a few exercises that can help it along however:
Make a list
Of the 5 most important things in your life (religion, family, dog, car, house, etc) then add up the actual financial value they have. If the value is 0 like mine is, then what do you have to lose? Assets and Liabilities can come and go like the wind. Money won’t buy you happiness, it just makes it easier to maintain 🙂 SO be thankful for what you have, make sure that you won’t lose those most important to you, and do your best to succeed. If you fail, you get up and start again.
Isn’t always rock bottom, and even if it is, rock bottom is a good foundation to build on. Even though it sucks crashing down, the only place left to go from their is up. No matter how hard your life may seem, or how much it may sting, its important to remember that there are MANY of those that endured your struggles or worse and still found success.
You are the measure. Don’t let anyone else define you. The end.